Mommyhood....Without the sugar coating!

I woke up this morning, no, not by myself, but to my screaming child with snot all over her nose and mouth. She continues to scream while I make her a bottle. I give it to her and she tosses it across the room, Chuck Norris style, and continues to scream. I try giving her medicine which gets all over her and the bed. I try to clean her up and she arches her back and screams what sounds like "why, why why?" To which I then think "Why is the toilet running?" I go and jiggle the handle to get it to stop and then hear a crash. Kennedy ran into the table, yet again, and is now screaming even LOUDER! I pick her up, get snot all over my shirt and try to get her to stop screaming. I think that going to the park will help calm her down, so we get ready and leave this death trap of a house. As soon as we get to the park, she fell...and I caught her...by her nostril! No joke! So now, she has a bloody nose, and a snotty nose and is crying again. I put her back in the stroller and head to Maui Tacos to get some lunch. I got a chicken taco and some chips. I turn my head for two seconds and Kennedy is choking on a chip which she stole off of my plate! I frantically pat her on the back and she is still choking! She then proceeded to throw up ALL OVER THE TABLE! I lost my appetite and we continued home. She fell asleep in the stroller (THANK GOODNESS), so I set her under a tree in the back yard and let her sleep...for an entire 20 minutes! Then the crying began again. I come inside, pour her some milk and try to apply for an online job. A few minutes later, she signs "milk, milk". "I just gave you your milk child! Where is it!" I look all over the house and can't find in ANYWHERE! So, I pour her more milk. She is mad that I am on the computer right now and keeps trying to type on the key board. HOLY CRAP! Being a mom is HARD!!!